Saturday, February 6, 2016

She Crazy

A few things on mental illness from Jenny Lawson's book Furiously Happy:  A Funny Book About Horrible Things that I think everyone should read. Or at least anyone that has to live with me or anyone like me...

"There's something about depression that allows you (or sometimes forces you) to explore depths of emotion that most 'normal' people could never conceive of. Imagine having a disease so overwhelming that your mind causes you to want to murder yourself. Imagine having a malignant disorder that no one understands. Imagine having a dangerous affliction that even you can't control or suppress."

"Sometimes being crazy is a demon. And sometimes the demon is me. And I visit quiet sidewalks and loud parties and dark movies, and a small demon looks out at the world with me.

Sometimes it sleeps. Sometimes it plays. Sometimes it laughs with me. Sometimes it tries to kill me. But it's always with me.

I suppose we're all possessed in some way. Some of us with dependence on pills or wine. Others through sex or gambling. Some of us through self-destruction or anger or fear. And some of us just carry around our tiny demon as he wreaks havoc in our mind, tearing open old dusty trunks of bad memories and leaving the remnants spread everywhere. Wearing the skins of people we've hurt. Wearing the skins of people we've loved. And sometimes, when it's worst, wearing our skins. These times are the hardest. When you can see yourself confined to your bed because you have no strength or will to leave. When you find yourself yelling at someone you love because they want to help but can't. When you wake up in a gutter after trying to drink or smoke or dance away the ache - or the lack thereof. Those times when you are more demon than you are you.

I don't always believe in God. But I believe in demons.

My psychiatrist always says, 'But if you believe there are demons, then it follows that there could be a God. It's like...believing in dwarves but not in Cyclopses."

I consider pointing out that I've met several dwarves in my life and almost no Cyclopes, but I get what she's saying. There can't be dark without light. There can't be a devil without the God who created him. There can't be good without bad.

And there can't be me without my demon.

I think I'm okay with that.

Or maybe it's my demon that is.

It's hard to tell."

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Gallactica

Me, thinking I'm a total jackass and Mike is going to laugh at me, "I have been freaking out all week and finally googled 'why is my pee pink' and realized it's all the beets we've been eating!!"

Mike, "OH MY GOD I've been convinced I was dehydrated and just kept drinking waters."

The end.


Monday, February 1, 2016

Life Lately

So, hey! I have been SO lazy this weekend and I kept thinking about doing a blog post and then not doing it because I'm so lazy. Good story.

Also, I'm counting today as the weekend because I didn't work since I was supposed to have last Monday off (after hours schedule) but I didn't get it off due to restaurant training.

SPEAKING OF restaurant training. That's what I was doing all last week. I work for a major food chain and they require a little bit of in-restaurant training when you're new, even if you're just support staff, so you can get how it all runs, or so you can be miserable for a week and be happy you have a degree, who knows. I did it when I was brand new for two days and it was awful and I cried in my car, so they made me do it again. Lesson learned: when something goes awful at work, don't tell your boss or they will just make you redo the awful thing. The people that made it awful won't get punished, you will.

This time was much better though, because the crew were all super nice people. Although, this time I had to do it for a full week and I am 33 years old (!!) and haven't worked on my feet all day in a lonnnng time. So it was exhausting and I felt really old and kind of useless and my feet hurt like hell and I was really greasy at the end of every day and I vow to never wear shoes that ugly again.

So, this weekend I was super lazy and I deserved it.

Mike and I went out for dinner and drinks Friday here and here and oh man, so good. After a couple cocktails, Mike spilled the beans on his anniversary gift for me this year which is a trip to Buena Vista, CO staying at this amazing place and I cannot wait.

THIS is our bathroom, I mean come on.

We've been working on a Colorado bucket list in case we move again, because, after all, it is us and we do tend to move a lot, and hot springs are on there and Buena Vista has hot springs! (That was a horrible run on sentence, good Christ) For the hot springs, I spent a big chunk of my lazy day today shopping for bathing suits online (much less stressful than in person). Here are some faves:

Strappy T-back One-piece - Victoria's Secret:
(I am loving Victoria Secret's Mara Hoffman knockoffs!)

Crisscross Top - PINK - Victoria's Secret:
My fave so far. My abs look just like that, you guys. I swear.

Salty Mint:
I would love this one in a different color...I think I'm a little pale for mint.

Mara Hoffman Peacock Maillot:
So flattering and it's a legit Mara Hoffman...if only my budget would allow.

What else?

Yesterday, I went to Orange for the first time since last Sunday and I took Mike's pre-workout energy stuff for the first time and it JACKED ME UP. I walked so fast to the studio that I must have looked insane. I met Mike after my workout here and let me tell you, mixing that energy stuff with alcohol makes a STRONG buzz, my friends.

Mike and I finally watched Making a Murderer and I also binge watched the second part of the first season of Outlander (the rape scene, oh god!) and I binge watched the entire season/series of Flesh and Bone so now I need to watch something light because all three of those shows make me feel dark and twisty. I'm thinking Casual on Hulu may do it. (I watch too much tv)

Today, I went to Orange where I twinged the bejesus out of my right shoulder because I'm old and unfit, walked home in the snow, and have been sitting on my arse since then. I'm pretty happy about it.

My "walk to Orange in the snow" outfits never make sense. Tennis shoes, short pants, and a giant puffer coat. My shins freeze, but whatever, I don't want to be hot while I work out.

Pugs really enjoy snow days. Yes, that is my sweater.

We've been eating this salad for dinners and it's fareakin' delicious. We add kale too, because you can never have too much fiber right?

roasted beet + barley salad in a maple mustard dressing via Witchin' In the Kitchen:

We went to Costco on Saturday and were freaking out on the drive home because it smelled so horrible in the car. I was, of course, convinced it was Mike farts, but we discovered when we got home that it was the broccoli we bought. It smelled like death. I kept telling Mike it must be bad, so he googled "broccoli smells like farts" and decided it was okay, but he finally ate some today and it tasted bad, so I win. Also, our house no longer stinks because that shit went straight down the trash chute. I feel bad for bitching that people were crop dusting us the whole time we were walking around Costco and possibly pointing at a small child and blaming it on her...

Also, my work email has  been broken all week which is kind of awesome.

The end!

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Bathroom Photos = Outfit Photos Right?

I started taking outfit photos again! Sort of. Here & Now inspired me to look at my clothing and if I don't wear it now and can't restyle it various ways, I need to get rid of it. So I'm going to go through my closet and work on that before I buy more shit. Oh, but I love buying shit. Sigh.

I felt very mod in this outfit all day. I've only worn this dress once before; to an interview that went super well and then they didn't hire. Because, that's life, right?
Dress - Cynthia Rowley via TJMaxx or someplace like that, Similar
Sweater - Uniqlo
Necklace - JCrew, Similar

This outfit was inspired by a pin that I now can't find, but she did it better.
Dress - Target, Similar
Scarf - Target
Cardigan - JCrew
Booties - Saks Off Fifth, Also here

This mumu-esque look was in honor of me eating a buttload of cheesecake at work. And also, just wanting to be comfy.
Top - Loft, Similar
Leggings - Saks Off Fifth

I bought three sweater dresses from Target last winter that I have worn over and over and it was seriously a great investment. This dress is not forgiving though, if I quit Orange, I'm going to need to invest in some Spanks to wear this puppy.
Dress - Target, Similar 
Boots - I have no idea, honestly. Similar (and cuter)

My excuse for this lazy outfit was that I had to work 11:00am to 8:00pm and then had an Orange class at 8:00pm and didn't want to change at work, but really, I'm lazy, right?
Top - Fabletics
Pants - Nike
Shoes - Nike
Sweatshirt - Work and unzipped so you can't read where I work so I can keep cursing on here.

I rarely wear this sweater because it's an opposite mullet - shorter in back than front. No one wants to see this girl's tramp stamp during winter. Or ever really. High waisted jeans to the rescue!
Sweater:  Banana Republic, Similar
Jeans: Banana Republic Outlet, Similar
Flats: Target (so effing comfy, I rave over these shoes)
Scarf:  J.Crew, Similar

My favorite outfit of the bunch. I own more cardigans than anyone rightfully should and I don't wear them nearly enough. This one is ooooold, but good.
Cardigan:  no idea, Similar
Tee:  Ann Taylor
Jeans:  J.Crew Factory
Shoes:  Converse
Necklace:  Forever21

This outfit is cuter in person, I swear. The dress is actually pretty sexy, I pulled it up for less cleavage in the photo) and I paired it with a chunky sweater to comfy it up for work, but still be sexy enough for date after work.
Dress:  Banana Republic Outlet, Similar
Sweater:  Urban Outfitters, Similar
Booties:  Saks Off Fifth, Also here
Necklace:  Denver Flea, Similar

All of this week, I had to wear a uniform for restaurant training, so I can't wait to come back next week with some more (hopefully) cute outfits to torture you with!

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Want It Wednesday

It's still technically Wednesday! I'm watching Vanderpump Rules online while Mike sleeps! Here's what I want this Wednesday!

Pug T-Shirt
This pug shirt (duh)

A balcony with a black rocking-chair and a brown wooden bench with wall panel and shelves.:
One of our new patios decorated like this

11oz zero fox given Coffee Mug Zero Fox Given Mug | Funny Coffee Mug | Fox Mug | Zero Fox Coffee Mug | Funny Mug | Unique Mug | Birthday | Christmas:
This mug.

This sweater with a pair of leggings and boots.

Raw Diamond Cluster Ring by Blair Lauren Brown Jewelry | Rings |
This ring, because swoon.

Daniel Boulud’s Chicken Tagine by Sam Sifton - Among NY Times' Top 20 Most Popular Recipes of 2014:
This for dinner.

Lake City, Colorado National Historic District | Colorado Lifestyle | colorful colorado | moutains | colorado photography | Colorado love | Colorado Camera Club | The Mile High City | Denver | Schomp BMW:
A day trip here.

FRIHETEN Sofa bed - Skiftebo dark gray - IKEA:
This sofa bed, because I'm almost 100% sure this is the one we slept on all last weekend and it was COMFY.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Life Lately

Hey I'm back! Was I gone? Who cares.

So what's been going on? Mike had a birthday and I didn't take any photos, but we had cake and a fancy dinner at Rioja  and he used some birthday money to buy a pasta maker which is really a present to me too, when you think about it.

He also got the new guitar hero which is too hard for me to play because I'm an idiot and why did they take away the color coded buttons?!

It snowed a bunch. 

I cut even more of my hair off and love it even more. Can you be addicted to cutting off your hair?

I was in a really bad mood before my haircut and then walked in to the salon and this little lady was staring up at me. Mood fixed!

We binge watched Hobbit Appendices and drank cocktails, like g-damn adults (nerds).

Then I had a birthday! Mike made my all time favorite cheesecake and people at work gave me shit all day for bringing my own cake instead of having them buy me one and then they ate it and were like OH RIGHT THIS IS GOOD. 

Mike got me this super cute wallet and I'm so proud of his awesome color choices (it's more mint in real life)

We celebrated my birthday by flying to Northern CA and visiting two of our favorite people and their new little baby. I took barely any photos because I was having too much fun and also O would mock me if I took photos of my food like a basic B. We spent most of our time lounging in leggings, squishing the baby, eating L's amazing cooking (she made me a skillet cookie for my birthday that I might have to marry), visiting the Disney museum, driving around, and just enjoying our friends. It was perfect.

We thought a late flight the night before would save us a travel day, and then the flight was delayed until midnight and it blew. Our pouty faces are attractive, no?

O&L's dog has human eyes and he's the weirdest, sweetest little thing ever.

And this baby? Baby fever times one thousand engage, folks.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

The Pups

Because your husband got a new lens for his birthday and your dogs are ridiculously cute per usual.

And the next series is called the evolution of a makeout session with a corgi...