Monday, July 6, 2015

4th of July

We celebrated the 4th of July by basically not doing anything traditionally 4th of July, but instead just being excited we had a long weekend and the weather was great. We started the day by visiting the Denver Botanic Gardens.

Side note:  why do I always want to call these places botanical gardens, not botanic? My way sounds right.

It was, obviously, gorgeous.

Here are some photos from the day (the good ones are by Mike, the bad ones are my iPhone):

These are called bachelor buttons which makes me think of buttholes. You're welcome.

I want to live here so badly.

We of course decided these were hobbit holes and got super excited to walk through them.

After the gardens, we got lunch at Uber Sausage which was just ridiculous.

Those are smothered tater tots as your side. Yep.

Then we finished out an awesome day watching a soccer game with new friends at Maria Empanada. We won't talk about how Argentina did in the game...

Oh yeah and pho for dinner.

It was a very un-American 4th, but it was a great day and it makes up for the fact that the effing city fireworks went on for like 2 hours well past 11pm and we got no sleep. Hurumph.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

In Case You Were Wondering How Old I Am

When we first moved here, Mike got us tickets to go see Geographer at a dive bar in the hipster part of town. And it was great, of course, but it also really drove home just how old I am now.

First, I had no idea what to wear. I do not understand these things the kids wear nowadays. Shorty shorts with dirty hair and booties? No, no sir. I cannot and will not rock that look. Also, side note, why does everyone seem like they're trying to look bad lately? Brush your hair and wear something that fits, Jesus.


So yeah, I just ended up wearing my weirdest shirt.

In case you can't tell, it is a Labyrinth shirt from Clashist and I love it.

I just realized that no one at that bar was old enough to have watched and loved Labyrinth. Sigh.

I also wore my glasses because my contacts don't make it past 10pm. Have I mentioned that I'm old?

But our old asses made it to the bar and got some sticky plastic cup beers and ogled the youngins and their outfits and the fact that they were all smoking weed like in public and indoors?? Is this a thing? And we made it through the first act and through most of Geographer and then went to bed SO HARD it wasn't funny.

So yeah, I'm old.

And apparently super uncool.

Mike had a blast though and he does not care what the kids think.

The end.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

You Probably Didn't Know

Stole this blog idea from one of my faves East & Blog and one of the absolute nuttiest The Other Juliette.

You probably didn't know...

1)  I'm legitimately scared of the dark. As in, I will full speed run to my room from the kitchen at night if it's dark.

2)  I feel anxious about 80% of the time. I'm currently relaxing on the couch watching a movie with my husband after a great night and my chest hurts and my heart is pounding with anxiety for seemingly no reason.

3)  My husband calls me baby toots as a pet name. No idea where it came from.

4)  I'm really weirded out by textures. If I bite into a food and the texture feels off from how it should be, I have to stop eating because I get so grossed out.

5)  I used to constantly take my clothes off in public when I was little. I still 100% would if I wouldn't get arrested. I really hate wearing pants.

6)  I rewatch Smash all the time, I can't help it.

7)  I am obsessed with short haircuts, but don't look good with them at all.

8)  I spend way too much time reading Reddit and Facebook comments about my employer because they are simultaneously frustrating and hilarious.

9) I really want to have a baby soon, but I'm also really scared we'll become those obnoxious parents who think the world around them. Related side note: our restaurants don't have changing tables, get over it. Go change them in the car like our parents did. The world does not revolve around you!!

10) I throw up a lot. Like a lot. My sister likens me to a nervous chihuahua.

11) I'm sad I haven't had a cocktail yet today.

The end.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Today So Far

I've been working a weird afterhours shift this last week so I ended up having today off. The shift kind of sucked, to be honest, and I wasn't super looking forward to having one of my days off mid-week. But, I can't lie, today has rocked so far.

First, I had an amazing workout. Seriously Randy, I love/hate you so much.

Then I got myself a tasty coffee for the walk home.

I took the longer, more scenic route home and enjoyed how beautiful Denver is on a day like today.

Once I got home, I met these two sillies at the dog park and spent the whole time bragging to Mike about my workout (it's a rare thing that I feel good after a workout!).

(Tuffy would like some pickles, thanks)

Then a really cute guy made me a tuna melt with some super tasty local pickles that I got to eat on the couch while watching Mad Men.

I mean? Today is pretty great so far. Maybe I should shower now...

Sunday, June 14, 2015


There are three things really really bothering me right now, but I can't talk about them on here because I'm the dummy who tells people in my real life about my blog. And I'm not that big of a douche that I would still blog about it. I mean, I'm a douche, but not that douchey, you know?

So, instead of bitching about those three annoying things, I'm going to talk about three random things I like. Make sense?

space saving table in various colors for small balcony decorating

This cool space saving balcony thingy found here. This is perfect for city living folk like us. Now if only we could actually open our sliding doors and use this instead of leaving them shut to drown out the the douchebags at the pool.

Orange is the New Black is back!  Good thing I just bought Mike a video game he's obsessed with because I'm going to be spending a lot of time holed up in bed watching this.

Corgi photos on Reddit or anywhere really. Corgi photos make everything better.

That's all I got.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Man Tears

Sometimes, when watching The Bachelorette, I get jealous that all these attractive guys are falling in love with one woman and I think to myself, "Why the hell aren't multiple guys with abs like that falling in love with me?"

And then they start crying like little babies after week two and I think, "Oh, okay, I'm good."

Also, I'm not marrying a guy who is willing to wear this on national tv:

The end.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

What You'd Hear

"I'm just going to go out there and take a dump in the hot tub in front of everyone. That'll show 'em."

This is something you would overhear my husband and I saying if you were in our apartment right now in response to the giant douche bag soup in our apartment's hot tub playing club music all day.

I won't tell you which one of us actually said that.

(We are old and fussy)

Photo found here on what is actually a pretty funny blog.

(I highly suggest you google "douchebags in a hot tub" right away)

Is our lease up yet?