Blog Every Day in May - A Struggle

For day 20 of the Blog Every Day in May Link Up, we're supposed to talk about something we're currently struggling with.  Which, to me, is basically the same thing as what we talked about on day 16...but maybe I did that day wrong?  So I had to really dig for something else to talk about.  Which I guess is a good thing?  Having a hard time coming up with things to complain about?

Other than the always frustrating unemployment which in turn results in money issues, my other struggle is my mental issues when it comes to fitness.  As you've read on here, I've recently gotten more into working out and I love what it does for me.  My upper body is getting more toned than it's ever been and my legs are looking great.  Mike constantly comments on how high my butt is now and how much he can see my leg muscles.  These are all great things and make me feel so good about myself.  BUT for some reason, most days when I show up the gym, I feel like shit about myself.  I put on my super tight workout pants and although I realistically know I look good in them, I immediately start to think I look like a fat load.  I sit in that stupid squat press leg machine thingy and it makes me have to bend at the waist and I get a little fat roll and I feel like shit the whole time I'm doing the squats.  Instead of focusing on the fact that when I first went to the gym, I couldn't move that machine and now I'm doing 4 sets of 12 every time, I focus on how not cute I look while doing it.  I stare at myself in the mirror in between sets and decide I have a double chin and my hair looks stupid and my skin is bad and it goes on and on.

So, my struggle is to overcome that mental crap.  Instead of beating myself up, I need to feel good about the fact that I got off my ass and went for a run and then walked our dogs for half an hour and then went to the gym for an hour and a half.  Every night.  I should be proud of that.  I beat myself up about the fact that if I dieted better, I would be thinner, but I just don't want to diet.  I need to get over that.  I'm not going to be thinner, this is how I look and I should just get over it.  I need to stop calling myself fat.  I need to stop beating myself up.  I really need to stop this before I end up having a girl and teaching her this awful behavior.

So that's what I got.  Girls are nuts, eh?

Blogger Book Swap - Character Crushes

For this week's Blogger Book Swap Link Up, I'm supposed to either do a soundtrack for a book I love or talk about a character crush I have.  I've been horrible at these link ups because I wasn't reading a ton when I started, I have a horrible memory, and Mike and I are in the middle of our yearly reading of all the Harry Potter books.  We're nerds.  So my character crush is weird and inappropriate, but I have literally been having dreams about making out with this guy.  Even though I'm like 5 years older than him and in my mind he's always going to be like 13 which makes me creepy and I should shut up now.

But seriously?  He's adorable.

Who is your character crush, appropriate or otherwise?

Blog Every Day in May - 5 Blogs We Love

For day 19 of the Blog Every Day in May Link Up, we're supposed to tell you about 5 blogs we love and why.  Here are mine!

Nat The Fat Rat

(1) My absolute favorite blog of all time is Nat The Fat Rat.  Up until her, I had been haphazardly blogging and reading pretty much solely fashion blogs.  Then I found her and read her entire archives in one weekend.  She was the first lifestyle blog I'd ever read and the first really true-to-herself, silly, weird, random blogger I'd encountered.  Her blog is cute and silly and makes you feel like you're part of her life and really makes you want to be her best friend.  (That makes me sound creepy)

couldawouldapica

(2)  Couldawouldapica is a DC blogger who blogs about fashion, life, recipes, design, and her love for DC.  She's one of the only bloggers I read who isn't out there putting her blog button all over other people's pages, trolling for affiliate links, or pushing sponsors.  In fact, it took me ages to find an actual picture of her to post on here, she's too busy posting beautiful pictures of the city she loves and her adorable dog.  She's just herself and blogs about whatever she wants to; it's really refreshing.

Kendi Everyday

(3)  Kendi Everyday is the first fashion blog I ever found and she's still my favorite.  She is really one of those rare blog success stories that starts with a regular Joe taking poorly lit outfit pictures and ends with them being one of the biggest bloggers out there making their living in the fashion industry.  And she's cute and down to earth to boot, love her!

Mish Lovin' Life

(4)  If ever there were a blogger that I could meet in real life and feel completely comfortable with and have an immediate bond, it would be Mish.  I feel like she's an Asian, prettier version of me.  Seriously you guys, she's so weird.  I love her.  Her blog has BLOWN up in the last couple of years, especially since she quit her job and spent six months travelling the world with her hunk of a boyfriend.  She's hilarious and inappropriate and I just love to read her blog.

Faux Fancy

(5)  I love reading Faux Fancy because these girls are real and you can tell they really love the things they're blogging about.  Their blog eats, sleeps, and breathes blogging and you can tell their love for all things fashion, DIY, cooking, and event planning in their posts.  Also, I know MK in real life and I'm pretty sure that crazy bitch is my spirit animal.

What are your favorite blogs?

Blog Every Day in May - Childhood Story

For Day 18 of the Blog Every Day in May Link Up, we're supposed to tell a story from our childhood and delve really deep into it.  I don't really feel like writing much today.  Yesterday was an odd/off day especially with the blog and the internet in general so I'm just going to post a couple of pictures and tell a quick story.  Here goes!

These are some of my favorite pictures of my sister and I as little kids.  She's the cute, skinny blonde and I'm the giant headed monster.  Fun fact: I never outgrew those cheeks.  They are still hanging around as my husband loves to remind me by calling me "puffy cheeks" all the time.  The top right picture is the one I'll tell a story about.  I used to always hug people like that.  I was short and had no sense of private space and didn't get that clasping my hands in someone's crotch might be uncomfortable for them.  I got separated from my mom once in the grocery store and she found me standing like that with my hands clutched in the crotch of some complete stranger I thought was my mom because I was too short and dumb to look up at her and realize it definitely was not.

I also peed in Baskin Robbins once.

Both those stories might be made up, I have a horrible memory.

Dreaming of a Vacation

Lately, Mike and I have been dreaming of taking a big vacation to Europe.  We keep staring at my savings account with all that tax return money we got this year thinking of how we could stretch that to a week long trip including plane tickets.  Which we could do, but probably shouldn't do until this little lazy girl gets a dang job.  Our favorite trip of course was our honeymoon to London and we just cannot wait to go back.  The two places I've been dreaming of lately are Amsterdam and Italy.  Ohhhh they both seem so dreamy and relaxing and tasty.  Maybe I have a thing for canals because I keep looking at Venice when planning an Italy trip.  I love the way Mike and I travel together.  We want exactly the same things out of trips:  food, relaxing, wandering around.  Neither of us like to take organized tours nor do we care for "activities."  We're happiest just exploring on our own and stopping often to grab a drink and some snacks.  When making travel reservations, our biggest priority is usually the hotel.  We tend to go towards modern boutique hotels, but when looking around for Venice, Italy choices, I think it would fun to get a romantic hotel room; something historic and cozy.  Like this:

I mean seriously, I don't think we would ever leave the room.  (That sounds dirtier than intended...only slightly though)  Here are some inspiration pictures for our two dream trips.  Where do you guys dream about going?

Amsterdam

I love the buildings in Amsterdam.  It's like DC but older and on water and you know, European.

I don't know what this building is, but I want to visit it.  

Can we stay at this hotel please?

Italy

Dreaaaamy

Can you imagine sitting here enjoying a bottle of wine?

Blog Every Day in May - Favorite Photo

For day 17 of the Blog Every Day in May Link Up, we're supposed to show you guys a favorite photo of ourselves and why we love it.  Here's mine!

It was really hard to pick a favorite photo.  That sounds conceited.  I am not, trust me.  But I have mastered the art of a good selfie and with all the outfit posts we've taken and the 800 wedding pictures, there were some good ones to choose from.  I chose a wholly unflattering one of me crying because I just really love this moment.  I was not, up until this point, a wedding crier   I especially wasn't an "I'm so happy and overwhelmed with love" crier.  That was not me.  I started out our ceremony standing calmly with my hands together in front of me, totally playing it cool and ready to get the ceremony over and the reception going.  

And then John (our officiant) started his speech and he hit the line, "After all, it is 'The bad

things in life often open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before.'"  And I lost it.  And Mike, my unemotional, cold little robot I always joke about reached over and grabbed my hand and it was the sweetest moment and I lost it even more.  Mike's protective hand covering mine and the goofy grin on his face while John did the ceremony was one of the best moments of my life.  I'm so glad I broke down and cried and let go of some of the stupid things I was holding onto before that point. 

(And also, my hair looks really good in this photo...so there's that.)

Blog Every Day in May - A Difficulty

For day 16 of the Blog Every Day in May Link Up, I'm supposed to tell you about something difficult with my "lot in life" and how I'm working to overcome it.  Here goes!

The biggest difficulty I'm facing right now is of course my unemployment.  This is the third time I've quit a job to move somewhere for Mike and the third time I've had to struggle to find jobs I actually want to apply for. Yet again, we're living somewhere that is relatively small and without a lot of industries other than the government.  With sequestration going on, the government isn't really hiring so that has closed a lot of the jobs I've applied for and there really isn't much else around here to apply for.  When I venture outside our area and apply in DC, I'm now competing with a huge group of people and I usually get overlooked.  The biggest problem is that I've been trying to apply for jobs I actually want; that can become careers.  I haven't caved and started applying for receptionist or retail positions yet, but it's getting tempting as we round on 6 months being unemployed.  I want to actually like my job, crazy as that is.  The problem lies in the fact that these jobs I want, I don't have enough experience in so I don't get considered.  So basically, if you don't choose your career in college and work in that field the whole time you're in college, you aren't getting a job in it later in life.  I'm 30 and trying to find my career.  It's hard as sh*t.

The way I'm trying to overcome this difficulty is by applying for unpaid positions to help me get experience while I look.  Yesterday, I accepted an internship that I think will be great for my resume and possibly turn into a paid position in the future.  I've also been sending writing samples around to local people looking for unpaid writers.  Anything to get experience and show that I've been doing something with my unemployment.

BUT we'll see how it goes.  I've given myself until month 9 of unemployment before I start applying for soul-sucking receptionist jobs.  Wish me luck!