Thursday, July 31, 2014

Every Dang Morning

Gizmo:  "Are you awake? I see your eye open!"

Me:  "No Gizmo, it's 5:45a.m., go back to sleep."

Gizmo:  "You touched your phone! That means we're getting up! Let's goooo!"

Me:  "Go back to sleep Gizmo!!"


Me:  "FINE!"

The End

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

A Day in the Life of Tuffy the Pug

Since my brother already got one of these, it's about time for my turn right?

Here is a day in the life of me, Tuffy the pug:

6:20a.m.:  my mom woke me up because my brother woke her up. I would have slept in, personally.

Then mom fed us breakfast. And guess what? She actually heated up our food which she NEVER does.

7:30a.m.:  Time for our first walk of the day. Why does mom get so excited when we poop? She needs a new hobby.

8:00a.m.:  Mom shared her breakfast scone with us. Aren't you supposed to be on a diet though mom?

8:15a.m.:  First nap of the day...about time!

9:30a.m.:  Moved to nap in a different location so mom could watch a movie. Rule #1 of owning a pug: always have an available pillow for nap times.

11:30a.m.:  Mom shared her lunch with us. Fun fact: I got two garbanzo beans because the first picture, I lunged at the bean and was a crazy blur so we had to retake it.

12:20p.m.:  Second walk of the day.

12:30p.m.:  Nap time under the desk while mom works. Hey lady, where's my pillow?

1:10p.m.: More naps.

4:30p.m.:  Dinner time!

5:00p.m.:  Third walk of the day. Let's poop!

6:15p.m.:  Watched mom work out. Why are you panting so much, old lady?

7:15p.m.:  I helped mom cook dinner. Throw me some chicken, will ya'?

7:30p.m.:  Daddy is home!!

8:10p.m.:  I supervised dad's nightly s'more eating.

8:50p.m.:  Watching tv on mom's lap. Mom and dad are officially the last people on the planet watching True Detective.

9:15p.m.:  Last walk of the night. Sometimes on this walk, we see frogs and they scare the shit out of me when they hop at me. Not cool, frogs.

9:45p.m.:  Bed time!

Monday, July 28, 2014

Don't Try So Hard

The second I read about the Don't Try So Hard Linkup, I took a photo of myself and was ready to link up. I think it's a great idea, especially as someone who regularly disparages myself and overexposes my own photos to make me look better.

Here's what the link up is all about:

We needed to take a picture of ourselves where we're "not trying so hard." No makeup, no muss, no fuss. Here's mine!

Unshowered, no makeup, greasy face and hair. Good morning!

Then, we need to make sure to list at least one thing we find beautiful about ourselves.

I really really love my eyes. They are a beautiful color of blue, I have really long eyelashes, and I have a weird infatuation with my eyebrows. Even when I'm feeling fat and ugly and don't feel like putting on clothes or makeup, I put on some mascara (because otherwise my eyelashes are blonde and see-through) and look in the mirror and feel pretty just because of the uniqueness and brightness of my eyes.

I attack myself mentally every day about how I look. I hate my hair, my nose, every inch of my body. When I see a thin woman in a magazine or on tv, I find myself thinking, "What's that like? What's it like to be pretty?" The entire time I'm watching a stupid show like The Bachelorette I wonder, "How the hell do their thighs look like that in a bikini? What am I doing wrong?" It's actually pretty damn exhausting and unhealthy. I remember reading a comment on Reddit on a thread about that movie Magic Mike where a male reader said something along the lines of, "Is this how women feel all the time?!" referencing how bad the men's bodies in that movie made him feel about himself. Yep. That's how most of us feel all the time.

Which is pretty stupid when you think about it. If MOST OF US feel like that all the time, then we are the majority and we should feel normal, right? It's dumb. We're all beautiful in our own ways. I'm healthy and happy and take care of myself so maybe I should stop staring at everyone else's thighs for awhile?

That being said, it's nice to take a moment to embrace myself and something I love about me, not the skinny chicks on tv, but me. (Also, I'm married and don't have to go on tv to "fall in love" in a week so I guess I'll take my life and thighs over theirs?)

What do you find beautiful about yourself? (I think you're a hottie, personally)

Don't Try So Hard Link-Up

Sunday, July 27, 2014

This Sunday Currently

Currently I am...

Reading: I'm still reading the third HP book. I've been really slacking on reading lately because I've been spending all my time panic applying for jobs and styling for clients.

Writing: This blog post and some email checking up on jobs I applied for.

Listening: To Bachelorette on Hulu (I finally caved/got bored enough and started watching it...oh man it's bad this season), to the rain outside, and to Mike talking to the dogs while they relax and watch him read in the other room.

Eating:  Just coffee now, but I'm so excited for the scones from Reynolds Tavern that I know are sitting in my fridge thanks to my dad and step-mom. Yum!

Wishing/Hoping:  For someone to give me a damn job and for Mike's commute to go well tomorrow.

Wearing: Pink shorts, a white tank top, and a leopard print cardigan.

Loving: That we had a fun, quick trip to Annapolis yesterday to celebrate Mike and that I have an interview next week!

Wanting:  The usual - a job and some security/clarity. But also these red loafers, this haircut (I know I know), this onesie and the fat baby to go in it.

Needing: To get up and shower, do some styling, and get my butt to the gym.

Feeling: Tired and anxious...the usual.

Clicking:  This blog, lookbooks on Keaton Row, Pinterest to get inspiration from my client's boards, MD Unemployment to file my webcert, and all the email alerts with jobs I can apply for.

A couple other things...

Love our new G we got from Anthropology in Baltimore. I love my last initial even if it does make my initials spell vag.

Mike enjoying his half day of unemployment on Friday. AKA an excuse to show a good arm picture of my husband on the internet.

Annapolis, I love you.


Thursday, July 24, 2014

Times They Are A Changin'

Yes, again.

Aren't they always? At least we aren't boring I guess.

So our household is about to get ripped a new one. In a good way. Is that a thing?

My awesome husband just accepted a new job working DC. We're super excited and I'm so proud of him. It's a really great opportunity and I could go on and on.

So yay!

This is what we wanted when we moved here so that's good.

But it's also about to throw a giant wrench in our daily lives. As of Monday, Mike's new schedule, at least in the beginning when we are still figuring things out, will have him leaving the house at 6:00a.m. and not getting back home until about 8:00p.m. Which means no more lunch together, no more gym together, no more week day soccer for Mike, our 6:00p.m. dinners will become a thing of the past (we're old, we can't help it), his 9:00p.m. bed time is squashed to hell now, and you know, a ton of other things are about to change. Not to mention the fact that once I get a job, depending on where it is, that's going to throw a whole new issue into the mix.'s a little crazy over here. On the surface, things are pretty calm, life looks the same except now we work out at our apartment instead of for free at the base gym (oh how we'll miss the base). But underneath the surface, there is so much stress and anxiety caused by the unknown churning.

But still yay!

Let's see what happens.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Things I'll Never Do

Stealing another blog prompt from Juliette today, this time talking about things I'll never ever ever do. Here we go!


Pierce my nose. I have no problem with people piercing their noses. In fact, my sister looks really cute with a pierced nose. But she has these nice, tiny features on her face whereas I have giant facial features and bringing attention to the biggest part of my face, is probably not a great idea.
(Hashtag I have a giant nose)


Skydive or bungee jump. I don't like being scared or stressed out and I don't like heights Just no.

I couldn't find a good picture for this, but I guess it kind of shows my point. I mean, she pretty much looks dead.
(The weirdest via ever btw)

Dye my hair black. I'm too damn pale, I would look like a vampire. A chubby, slow vampire who loves cheese, but still a vampire.

Post to Girls Gone Wild on Reddit. No descriptive picture necessary for that, I reckon.

love this style

Wear these pants. I don't think this merits any further explanation...

spouse,couples pregnancy portrait,couples,pregnancy,portrait,husbands,husband,kissing belly,portrait studio,portrait,studio

Take either the man kissing the bump picture or the topless picture when I'm pregnant. They skeeve me out so bad. Also, Mike would divorce me.


Work in sales. I just can't. If you say no to me, I say okay thank you, have a good day. I can't schmooze. I just don't have it in me.

Also, of course, I'd never kill anyone or like kick a bird and stuff like that, but those aren't fun blog answers, you know?

What are some things you would never ever do?

(I probably would kick a bird if it was harassing me, come to think of it)

Sunday, July 20, 2014

This Sunday Currently

Currently I am...

Reading: During my trip, I read a biography of Marilyn Monroe written by Gloria Steinem which was really interesting and horribly sad, I also read the 4th and final book in the Giver Quartet which was great, and two Harry Potter books. Now, I'm reading the third HP book because it's summer and that's what we do in my house.

Writing: This blog post, cover letters, resumes and e-mails to my styling clients.

Listening: To Mike watching Star Wars cartoons and the pups sleeping. It's definitely a lazy Sunday over here. I took a shower halfway through this blog post and now I'm listening to Mike vacuuming up an old barf stain we found on one of our chairs. Glamorous this life is.

Eating:  So far today, I've had two slim fast shakes, a nectarine, some water, some coffee, and a cheese stick. I keep snatching sour watermelon candies when I walk by the kitchen too.

Wishing/Hoping:  For someone to give me a damn job.

Wearing: Nike black capris, a purple sports bra, and a tank. 

Loving: That Mike got a great job and that we are one step closer to getting what we want.

Wanting:  The usual - a job and some security. But also this hair color, this DVF maxi dress,  this awesome wallpaper, and this super cute blazer.

Needing: To get up and shower and then apply for yet more jobs.

Feeling: Tired and anxious.

Clicking:  This blog, lookbooks on Keaton Row, Pinterest to get inspiration from my client's boards, and my e-mails to go through all the job listings I was sent while I was out of town.

A couple other things...

I went through old photo albums while at my mom's house and this photo made my sister die laughing because she looks adorable and I look like a possessed doll with no neck.

I can't help but take tons of pictures of my mom's dog because she is just so muppety.

We finally visited Baltimore and the view from our hotel room was to die for.


Finish The Sentence

I haven't been blogging because I was out of town for 8 days in CA visiting friends and family and attending a funeral and also I have naught to blog about. I'm boring.

I found Juliette's blog every day in July link up super late, but I'm latching on because the prompts are good and seriously dudes, besides drinking Slim Fast shakes and searching for jobs, I don't have anything to talk about. 

The first prompt I'm stealing is finish the we go!

When I open the fridge, I always hope I find...
CHEESE. Preferably goat cheese, but any cheese will do. Except blue. Yuck.

My favorite article of clothing is...
Oh man I can't pick a favorite. I have a leopard cardigan that I wear a lot because it's oversized and comfy and I pretend it matches everything.

Last week I was really pissed when...
Wasn't pissed at all last week, just sad and sleepy and enjoying time with friends and family.

One thing nobody understands about me is...
How incredibly shy I actually am. I cover my shyness and self consciousness by being loud and funny and acting happy all the time. It works like I charm and I think people would be surprised to know how shy I actually am.

One thing I don't understand is...
Math. I mean, seriously.

The world would be a better place if...
People cared more about others than themselves. On huge scales like, you know, not shooting down passenger jets and on tiny scales like not playing your ipad with the volume on loud in a crowded airplane.

If I had a million dollars I'd...
Pay off all of our debt and both our families' debts and move to Australia or New Zealand and open a bar.

If I could change one thing about myself, it would be...
If I'm being honest...does "my looks" count as one thing?

Something that can always make me happy is...
Cheese! Also taking the dogs for a walk, it helps to clear my bad moods.

Something I'll never blog about is...
Politics or religion. I get too angry at stupid people's responses. Oh, also, my husband's job.

If I could go anywhere I would go...
New Zealand.

Lord of the Rings, duh.

If I were an animal I would be a....
Pug. Sleep, eat, poo, repeat.

A job I've always wanted is..
Wedding planner.

My idea of a perfect day is...
Sleeping in, skipping the gym, brunch with bloody mary's, walking outside in great weather, shopping for shoes with no budget, late lunch with cocktails, talking about life with my husband, early to bed with tea and a movie surrounded by my dogs.

If I knew I'd die next week, this week I'd...
Write a lot of letters and apologies, spend as much time with Mike as I could, and eat whatever the mother hell I wanted.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Why I Don't Take the Bus

There are three reasons why I will not ride a city bus. And they are not that 1) I'm a brat, 2) I'm a small town bumpkin, and 3) I'm lazy.  They are:

1)  When I first moved away from home, I went to college at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. It was my first "big city", my first time away from home, my first real life experiences. And I was horrible at it, but that's a whole other thing. After being there a while, my car broke down for seemingly no reason. I had it towed from campus and worked on at a local mechanic. When I needed to pick it up, I didn't have any friends who had cars, so my friend and I decided to take the bus to the mechanic to bring my car back. So we get on the bus for our first time in San Luis Obispo and I'm pretty sure my first time on a city bus ever. We sit down and settle in for our ride across town and quickly realize that we are the only two people on this bus that aren't mentally handicapped. I'm not saying that as a rude adjective for stupid people. We literally were sharing the bus with a giant group of actual mentally handicapped people. Who were yelling and talking really loudly about having sex, and who all seemed to know each other. We were just smack dab in the middle of this really rambunctious, perverted group of people and it was incredibly awkward.

2)  My first day in training as a flight attendant in New Jersey, I hopped on the bus all ready to show up for work, excited, and confident. I was living in my first actual big city, doing my first day of commuting. I put in my money and grabbed a hand hold on the busy bus. At some point, someone got off right next to me and I moved to sit down and ended up bumping a very large and intimidating woman. And she did not appreciate it. No ma'am. She spent the rest of the bus ride yelling, not to me, but to other people, how "this bitch just shoved me." And it was like a 20 minute bus ride or something crazy like that and I just sat there making myself as tiny as I possibly could while this extremely loud woman who probably had about 75 pounds or more on me, called me a bitch to the rest of the bus.

3)  On the way home from training the day of the "this bitch" bus experience, I waited outside the airport and grabbed my bus home. I knew the number I needed, we'll call it bus 395 or whatever, I don't remember. All I know is I need bus 395 to get to and from work. Being the small town bumpkin I am, I don't realize that bus 395 goes in multiple directions. So I grab the first one I see. And I sit on that bus for over an hour as it drives in the wrong direction silently praying that at some point this friggin' thing is going to turn around oh holy shit what did I do. It didn't. Because that's not how buses work, Valerie. So I got off on the last stop in Orange, a town I'd never been to and just started walking while having a panic attack. At some point, I saw a sign for Amtrak and just bee-lined it for the place, running up to the ticket window and breathlessly announcing, "I need to get to Newark!" To which the ticket guy responded, "Why?" (Because Newark is not great, folks) I spent the train ride home texting my friends to warn them why I was late and trying not to burst into tears and further embarrassing myself.

And from that day on, I drove to work.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Day Camping

 This year for 4th of July, Mike and I wanted to do something, but stay local and not spend too much money, so we decided to try out camping. We made a reservation at Point Lookout, about 20 minutes away from home, loaded up on camping goodies, and were pretty dang excited about it! We decided to take the dogs camping for their first time ever.

Tuffy was excited at first.

Gizmo just hates car rides.

The camp site was gorgeous. It was filled with trees that gave you plenty of shade and it was quiet and just lovely. And the bathrooms/showers are super nice.
Aside from the ticks you got if you ventured into the forest, it really was a great site.

The dogs were crazy excited from the beginning and would not calm down. I was glad they weren't barking a ton, but we couldn't get them to sit for any extended period of time and they both insisted on only laying in the dirt, weirdos.

Gizmo loves dirt.

The one time Mike sat down the whole trip.

The best part of camping really is the food, don't you think?

I got to relax a little and read by the fire while Mike ran around cooking and setting stuff up. 
Side note: camp fires are not nearly as fun when it's hot as hell out.

Annnnd then we were home and in bed by 10:30.
After we finished eating and hanging around for about 5 hours, Mike pointed out that the dogs still would not calm down or sit still and it was hot as all hell outside and it felt like it was going to rain and we just knew we were going to have a horrible night's sleep. So, we went home.
I felt kind of embarrassed that we went home so soon, but after about 2 minutes in the car, both dogs were passed out asleep so we knew we made the right decision.
I'm calling it day camping. You get the fun food, the outdoors, and still get to sleep in your own bed that night.
(Also it did end up raining later so I felt a little vindicated)

Our dirt laying dogs had to get baths the next day, so they officially hate camping.

And despite spraying on Deets every hour on the hour and sitting by a bug candle, I came home riddled with bug bites that I of course have lovely allergic reactions to. Never again, camping!

The end.

We're the worst.