Thursday, October 29, 2009

Wino / Wine No?

"If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good?"
Cardinal Richeleu

"Wino Forever"
Johnny Depp
(His tattoo that originally read 'Winona Forever')

Ever since I started enjoying wine, (which I'm pretty sure either started with dating Mike or REALLY started with working at my last job...the place of nightmares...the place we shall call CPA Hell), I started having the urge to have at least one glass every night after dinner. Which, you know, when typed or said out loud doesn't sound THAT bad. It's one glass of red wine a night, that's good for your heart right? No one gets drunk off of one glass of wine....well maybe my mom but she's a tiny little lightweight so that doesn't count. And let's be honest, while working at CPA Hell, I deserved a damn glass of wine when I got home! Here, give Mike these two options: 1) have Valerie come home and bitch and moan to you like the whiny cow that she is or 2) let Valerie have a glass of wine and watch her slip into the comfy warm blanket that is a glass of good wine after a bad day of work. He chooses option number 2. Every time.

It eventually got to the point though where my head decided that I would not be able to properly sleep if I did not have said glass of wine. And then my head put two and two together that if, after said glass of wine, I was not tired enough to go to bed, I should have another, bigger glass of wine. This is not a great idea on a work/week night. This is also not a great idea for your budget because, well killing a bottle every couple of days adds up. So you buy cheaper wine for after work glasses and then this gives you heartburn which makes you a whiny cow anyways and it's a vicious cycle. So after these last couple of years of drinking a glass of wine almost every night before bed and now even after escaping from CPA Hell, (straight into Unemployment Hell I might add), I still crave a glass of wine, (or two or three), every night before bed.

So, great expanse of endless Internet, I ask you this question. To wino or not to wino? Should I cut it down? Is this actually bad for me because it sure as hell doesn't help me sleep! Maybe I'll have a glass of wine with breakfast and think it over...

P.S. I had an epiphany last night. I know what I can do to cut down my late night wine drinking! I'll have margaritas instead! What else does one do with the over two years old bottle of tequila that you left in your mom's fridge the last time you lived here AND the semi-new bottle of tequila that you brought with you when you moved back? Make night time margaritas of course! Problem solved. Thanks Internet!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Unemployment = Rambles

So as anyone that actually knows me knows, (because I've probably whined about it every single day for almost two months), I am unemployed. By choice. Because apparently I'm a big fat genius.

You know, I was a little embarrassed about following a boy to Bakersfield, but I was 19 at the time and he was my first love and I was naive blah blah. So...I'm going to take a mulligan on that one.

I was a little less embarrassed when I followed another boy to Chico because I was older and wiser and really had jack shit else going on in my life and Chico is definitely a step up from Bakersfield so we'll call that one a draw.

Now, lo and behold, I have followed a boy BACK TO RIDGECREST. You know Ridgecrest right? That tiny little town that is composed of 25% white trash, 50% dirt, 15% tumbleweeds, and 10% pregnant chicks because let's face it, there's nothing else to do in Ridgecrest except get knocked up. Mike and I were both born and raised here and both swore up and down that we would never end up back here. So imagine our shock and amazement when we agreed to move back. Yes, Mike got a great job opportunity, yes houses here cost like a dollar, yes both of our mothers live here, yes it only takes five minutes to drive everywhere in town and there are no freeways, but come've got to admit it's a step back.

So by my calculations, my "following dudes around California" score is: 1 mulligan based on age and naivety, 1 draw because Chico food is worth following any half good dude there, and 1 super embarrassing, but smart decision downgrade. So it's pretty much Val - 0, Universe - 3.


So, I'm unemployed and home alone all day and doing my housewife duties only kills about an hour a day so you...yes YOU, you employed people with your jobs and your school and your lives. You are now forced to read my rambles. That way everyone is a little punished and as they say, unemployment loves company...