Monday, April 27, 2015

Sweaty Betty Isn't Dead...y

If you thought that was the world's worst blog post title, you were right.

So a couple years ago, when we lived in California and had nothing else to do, we used to run for cardio. We got up to running 4 miles a night which was a huge feat for me and I didn't actually hate it which was an even huger feat. And I weighed ten pounds less than I do now so....

Once we moved to Maryland, we let running fall to the wayside because it was so g-damn cold, but I picked up weight training which was awesome and my shoulders and biceps look pretty good, thank you, but I also slowly put on a bunch of weight. Which sucks. And makes me feel bad for eating as much as I do because at least I was burning calories back then, right?

Since I first started working at my new job, one of my coworkers has been pushing me to go to Orange Theory with her which is her main form of working out and she absolutely loves it. It was hard to say no because I was feeling so shitty about my weight gain and she had lost like 25 pounds doing Orange and it is downstairs in my office building, so I didn't really have a good excuse not to go.

Now, you all know me...I hate working out. Hate it. Even when I "liked" running, I hated it and dreaded every run before I set off. I am hugely self conscious in the gym. I have had minor panic attacks in rooms that are too full of other people working out and have had to leave because I get anxiety so badly about looking stupid while working out. So I was really really nervous for my first day at Orange. I knew I was going to suck and everyone would notice.

And guess what?

It went great!

I swear to Pete, this is not an advertisement, it actually was pretty g-damn awesome. The best thing about Orange for me is that everyone is so focused on their own workout and there's no standing around time in between sets, that no one gives a crap and/or notices what you're doing. I'm the slowest one on the row machine this set? No one cares because they have all run back into the weight room and are trying not to barf doing burpees. Some chick apparently ate it doing box jumps the other day and I didn't even notice because I was panting in my own little corner.

You also have no time to look at and critique yourself in the mirror.

And the mirrors in front of the treadmills don't show your legs. Genius.

Anxiety gone.

And also, it's hard as crap and I still like it! No self-defeating mental commentary about how awful I'm doing. Can't do all out at 5% incline like the instructor told us to do? I'll do push pace at 5% and try my hardest and be happy about.

Seriously, who is this person?

I still get nervous before each class, because it's me, but once we start running, I get really focused and end up enjoying pushing myself and seeing how many calories I've burnt as the class goes on.

Also my boobs look really good in the mirror when I run. (Classy)

I've only gone three times so far (I do Mondays and Wednesdays each week) and I'm super hooked and can't wait to see how much fat I burn/weight I lose/body parts I tone as time goes on!

Here are my first three results which I'm sharing because I'm super proud and it's my blog so why not?

Go Orange!






Sunday, April 26, 2015

A Weekend of Gluttony

Thursday, the 30th is our four year anniversary (what?!) so we decided to celebrate early by eating and drinking our faces off at BruFrou. Our celebrations pretty much always revolve around food and booze, it's our thing (fat kids).

And we had a blast.

And I didn't throw up.

So, yeah...score!

It was held at Wings Over the Rockies which I can't wait to go back to sober and not stuffed with food and also I really want to know why the theater is named after Harrison Ford?

Mike wasn't happy at all...


One day I'll photograph better...


A big group of Star Wars nerds petitioned to keep this replica fighter thingy in Denver and won and it's kind of awesome.

Just casually flying a jet...NBD.

Then Gizmo helped Mike recover from how full his stomach was and we spent the rest of the day laying on the couch watching tv and moaning.

Today, it was raining and we probably should have recovered from our binge day at BruFrou, but instead, we went to brunch at Lucille's where you have a crazy long wait, but they have an outdoor bar open that serves cocktails, coffee, and beignets and then I ate red beans, poached eggs, hollandaise, and cheesy grits for breakfast.

Did I need to have two of these? No I did not. Will I no longer be working out later today? Probably...

Worth the mess.

The moral of this blog is happy early anniversary to my man and also, this is why I'm fat.

Worth it!





Thursday, April 16, 2015

Want it Wednesday...a day late

It feels like Friday, but apparently it's only Thursday which means yesterday was Wednesday.

So here's what I wanted...yesterday.


Atlantic-Pacific: a trip down memory lane
This dress and a fabulous summer party to wear it to.

But this is my workplace after
To decorate my apartment walls like this.

This kitchen except that shelf would be covered in cookbooks. 

Matisse Fonda Tan
These sandals. I am in desperate need of sandals this year, all mine are falling apart.

Nehalem Falls - Fabletics
This super comfy outfit to relax in.

Mara Hoffman Maxi Tank Dress
This maxi dress and a trip to somewhere tropical where I can wear it.

Most beautiful pool with a breathtaking view of Amalfi!
Like, how about a trip here for instance?

To not be totally terrified that I'm joining Orange Theory on Monday.

Before I Go To Sleep
Time to read more (get off the internet then, Val) books like this one that's on my list.

And a nap.

And 10 less pounds.

And a baby.

I ask for so little you guys...




Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Scenes From Our Hikes

By far our favorite Colorado tradition has been going on hikes every Saturday. There are so many amazing trails around here that we can't wait to try. So far, we've done the Chautauqua Trail in Boulder twice and the Beaver Brook Trail in Golden.  It's so beautiful all around you while you're hiking, that it makes even working out seem fun. Almost. Mike is never happier than when he's outside running around or crawling over a branch to cross a creek. It's cute and also terrifying because I am horrible at this crap. Haven't fallen into a creek yet though! (Famous last words) When we hiked Beaver Brook, we kept fining it odd that everyone passing us was going the opposite way. We figured we were just going a weird way since we are always lost on trails. We realized why everyone went the other way when the entire last hour of our hike was completely uphill and covered in snow. Whoops. We really need to learn to read trail maps.

We follow up each hike with a visit to a nearby brewery. Because, well, we earned it right?

I finally got a new camera cord, so here are some photos Mike has taken on our hikes.

Colorado, we love you!




The dude behind me was running. Running. Screw you, man.






And then we saw a pug so we of course took photos.


This so truly portrays Colorado. One half of the trail was covered in snow and the other was dry and warm. 



Creeks are stupid.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

And...a Myspace Questionnaire Because Why not

So, apparently I only blog when I'm bored or unhappy. Which is dumb but also means that I have not been bored or unhappy lately which is good and also whoops, no blogging. I really want to post photos we've taken on our hikes, but we can't find the cord to our camera because moving is basically one giant way to lose and/or break all your shit.

Also, I'm tired because the last two days have been the first I've felt stressed at my new job and I just started a new shift where I wake up at 5:30 every day and hey, I'm a whiner.

So here's a Myspace questionnaire because why the hell not it counts as a blog ready set go...


A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? "Leaving now" to Mike. I never leave on time from work so I text him every day on my way out of the office so he knows when to expect me since we work out together. (Man, I am one long run on sentence today) Something I realized today that I really need to work on is the fact that I find myself stressing about Mike being mad at me if I stay late at work. He probably wouldn't be, but I've built up this world where Mike is going to get mad at me about trivial things and I get anxious about it and it affects my decisions. That is probably not healthy...

B) What does the last text you received say? And from whom?  A confirmation of my payment to AT&T. I'm super exciting, guys.

C) What time do you wake up most mornings?  Used to be 6:15 and now is 5:30. Boohoo. But I get off work at 4:00, so I'll take it.

D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night?  Depends on the area. I probably wouldn't be scared to walk home at night from my current work, but I would be super aware and not wearing my headphones if it was dark.

E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?  Sit on my duff and browse Reddit or watch The Office or drink some wine.

F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?  It was obviously my husband, but I can't remember when or where. Is that bad? We've been married for four years and aren't super romantic...

G) Did you get into trouble a lot at school?  Nope, I was a Grade A nerd. My first detention was for throwing carrots at someone during lunch outside. At least I was throwing healthy food...

H) Do you enjoy your job?  YES! I finally enjoy my job. First time for everything??!! I am happy to go to work. What?! Who knew.

I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?  Yep. Or create them in my 12 year old boy head. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID is constantly being screamed in my mind.

J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?  No? I don't think so, I don't hang out with people that do drugs generally.

K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?  No. I'm very stubborn. Although, being around my husband has made me start to act and think differently, but nothing has completely altered me.

L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?  I smoked pot a couple times in my youth (I'm so old).

O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?  Having kids and where to live and how that's going to affect my new amazing commute and I don't want to buy a second car and do we buy a house and on and on.

P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?  I do it every day. Hashtag marriage.

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?  Yep. I am and always have been a huge believer in hugging; whether wanted or not.

R) Are you a very affectionate person?  Very, but my husband isn't so I've trained myself to hold it in.

S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?  Nope, gross.

T) What are you looking forward to?  The weekend! Hiking and beers.

U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?  I have one horrible tramp stamp and I would like more, but I feel like my first one is so dumb, I don't deserve it.

V) Are you mentally strong?  Nope.

W) Are you physically strong?  Nope, but working on it.

X) Do you think you’re a good person?  Sometimes, but it comes and goes. I could be much better.

Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now. I would be ten pounds lighter and we would have a backyard.

Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast?  Yogurt, but the French guy at work made crepes the other day so I've been eating those. So good.

And yes, Lauren, I'm missing letters. I deleted dumb or dirty questions and cared too little to fix the letters. Deal with it.