Wednesday, November 4, 2009

11 Reasons Why I'm Disgusting Today

1) Yesterday I ate so much cheese that I'm pretty sure my body is forever going to smell of cheese

2) And I'm pretty sure I'll probably never poo again.

3) And I didn't just eat cheese and crackers, I ate the following concoction: one slice cheddar cheese covered in goat cheese with another slice of cheddar cheese on top. I call it a cheesy cheesewich.

4) I ate so much cheese I didn't even eat lunch.

5) Last night I drank a margarita with like two year old tequila while sitting in bed watching West Wing reruns with all the lights off and Mike snoring next to me.

6) I didn't brush my teeth after I drank the margarita and I'm pretty sure I went to bed with the majority of my teeth drunk off their asses.

7) I haven't washed my hair in like three days, (though I must say that it's not greasy at all and looks better dirty...by principle that's still pretty disgusting).

8) I haven't showered yet today and it's 9:20am.

9) I woke up to a dog licking my face and I just now remembered that my mom caught her eating cat poop last night.

10) I've worn the same pajama pants for like a week straight now, but I change when people are home to hide my disgustingness.

11) I walked around with all of my fingernails painted except one of my thumbs for like three days because I was too lazy to paint just one fingernail.

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