Sunday, April 24, 2011

I Wish

Wedding planning lately has been rough for me.  I am, by nature, a highly neurotic and pessimistic person so the closer to the wedding it gets, the more I have started to freak out.  Since I have taken care of everything I can control, the rest I can just hope and wish for.  Here is what I wish for my wedding.

 - I wish that I will look good in my dress.  Every time I try it on, I like it less and less.  It has nothing to do with the dress, but with the person inside the dress and I'd be doing it regardless of which dress I bought.  Every time I try it on I find a flaw or something I wish was different.  I should have done this, wish I'd done that, shoulda woulda coulda.  So on my wedding day, I wish for myself that I look in the mirror and am happy that this girl is in that dress.

 - I wish that Mike shows up.  I haven't been fun lately, I hope he doesn't realize the morning of that I'm not a keeper and bail.

 - I wish that I want to show up.  My biggest fear is that I'll wake up the morning of filled with dread rather than excitement or joy.  I wish more than anything that I won't.

 - I wish that everything comes together well.  I planned this wedding completely on my own.  It's my vision from the menus to the table runners to the shapes of the napkins.  I wish that people will walk in the room and think it is modern and friendly and kitchy and us.

 - I wish that everyone will think our escort cards are as funny as I do.

 - I wish that I don't look mentally ill in all of our pictures.

 - I wish that Mike will find some kind of emotion at the ceremony rather than fist bumping me when it's over.

 - I wish that Mike will want to dance with me at least once.

 - I wish that no one will make me cry sad tears.

 - I wish that no one will give inappropriate toasts.

 - I wish that everyone will get along, including my parents.

 - I wish that I will just let go and have fun...as much as possible for me.

***UPDATE - every single thing came true.  It was a perfect day and all the stress was for not.

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