Monday, April 4, 2016

Overheard on the Train

Commuting on the metro in DC was a whole thing. It was stressful, physical, anxiety inducing, and at times frightening. People would physically shove you to get on a packed train. You would sit next to someone drugged out of their mind. People would get stabbed outside the metro stop. Crazy homeless people would scream at you as you would shuffle down the crowded escalator (STAND ON THE RIGHT). It wasn't great.

It obviously wasn't the worst thing ever and I had a pretty easy route, considering, but it wasn't a great way to start and finish the day. Which is why I have to giggle when people here in Denver react with shock at my current commute. It's an hour door to door; with about 30 minutes of that on the actual train. Which is not that bad to me. I'm not driving in traffic for an hour, so I'm not really too fussed about it. Also, the train is clean, heated, never busy, and never scary. So, needless to say, I'm pretty happy with my current commute.

All that to say, it may be much easier and less scary, but it's not always boring. The other day, I sat near a woman lecturing a perfect stranger (I know this because she introduced herself to him mid-lecture) while holding her recently put out cigarette in her wildly gesticulating hand. Gotta love a woman that pays to ride the train, but won't pay for a new cigarette.

The basic gist of her speech was that she has special powers and that she is awakened and we all should be. Or something. Here are some of her many gems that kept me entertained the entire ride:

"I've made a pack of cigarettes just appear." (Vital use of special powers, I'd say)

"It was in New Orleans where I realized my gift. They have shorter wavelengths there."

"We have the power to get the fuck out of here if we want. THEY just want to control us."

A long story I couldn't type all of, but basically her windshield wipers were broken and it was raining and she pulled over and commanded them to work and they did.

"People would think it's a ghost, but guess what, it's been us the whole time." (TWIST)

"We're like androids who are on sleep mode, but I woke up three years ago."

You guys, I love her.


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