Fussy Face

I am really down on myself at the moment.

I'm fussy man, real fussy.

(I'm pmsing)

(TMI?)

And work is, you know work.  And it was raining today.  And I'm stressed about this conference I have to go to tomorrow alone and I have to drive for the first time in months which sounds dumb, but try not driving for months and then driving, it's stressful.

So I'm in a mood.

I sat in the gym doing my hard ab work out and going through the motions with our weightlifting and all I could think was, "Man, you suck at this.  Look how fat you look in those work out pants.  You are THE worst."

Not very nice.

So as I thought those thoughts and then thought, "Hey, that's super rude to think about yourself." I decided to write a blog post that was nice to myself.

SO.

Despite sometimes sucking at the gym, eating too much for dinner, and being stressed about driving for 41 minutes tomorrow, here are some things I'm good at.

Typing.  Is that a weird thing to be good at?  Whatever, I can type fast.  Thanks mom and dad for that weird typing test computer game when I was little.

Having Boobs.  Yeah, I went there.  I'm really good at having boobs.  Thanks genes.

Yeah, I have a go-to recent boob picture.  CLASSY!

Cuddling Corgis.  In the mornings, if he's not too tired, Gizmo crawls up on my chest and cuddles me until I have to get up.  It's the sweetest little thing ever.

Getting People to Make Me Cocktails.  I'm a pro at this. (I think the boobs help)

Taking Superbly Unattractive Photos.  I don't even have to try, you guys.  I'm a natural.

Gift Wrapping.  Hallmark since I was 17, ya'll.

Bitch Face.  I do a pretty good bitch face.

Eyelashes.  I get a weirdly large amount of compliments on my eyelashes.

Alfalfa Topknots.  Every time, without fail.

And apparently taking selfies, I had no shortage of those!

Now cheer up, bitch.

Bangs

Is there anything in this world that women simultaneously love and hate more than their bangs?

Maybe their husbands....




ZING!

Oh Hey There

Soooo I haven't blogged in like 10 days or something.  I'm not dead.  (No one cares)  In those 10 days I've flown to California, gotten so drunk I threw up all night, been in a wedding, cried, ate a crap-load of delicious and fattening food, saw some of my favorite people, traveled back to Maryland, got delayed, got super tired, found a mouse in my apartment, and you know all the other normal stuff.

And by normal stuff I mean working, having a cold, taking a ton of selfies, walking the dogs a bunch, running errands.  All that good stuff.

But not blog worthy.

But I'm back!

And spending the whole weekend in my pjs watching tv while it rains.

Also not blog worthy.

I'll figure out something to blog about eventually.

Until then, here's a picture that has nothing to do with anything.

!

Randomness

I've been random on here before.  This is no different.  I have not much to talk about right now.  My life is pretty much the same.  Work is meh, working out is meh, I just ran out of melatonins and forgot to buy more so sleeping will officially be meh, I'm less fat today so that's good (alright, some of it WAS water weight, I may be insane), brinner was delicious two days in a row.  That's all I got today really.

Here's some other random stuff.

This blog post made me happy.

I cannot get this song out of my head and it's one of those ones where I can actually sing it pretty well which makes me love it even more.  (I am fully aware how behind in the times I am posting this, but I haven't had a car to drive in 7 months and therefore listened to no music for 7 months so....)

Friday is our big concert where I have to be at work until like 3am so we plan to spend all of Saturday in our pjs watching this.  Once again, super behind on the times...

I'm drinking a Patricia Anne right now (yeah our no alcohol to lose weight didn't stick...shocker).  I'm pretty sure I've posted this recipe before, but it's really that good.

I'm wondering if anyone really really likes their job or if everyone just kind of hates it, but does what they have to do.  I've been pondering that lately.  Also, I really like to say the word pondering.

Needing to do this.  But.  Just.  Can't.  

I got to tour this beauty today.  And oh man, do I want to live in this thing.  So gorgeous.  

Currently on the 5th book and have about 20% left and I'm dreading finishing it because the next one isn't out yet and oh man am I a nerd, but the books are soooo good.

Things and Stuff and Things

Oh hey!  I didn't die.  I went to California for a week and then came home and went straight back to work and I've had nothing to blog out.  I like to pretend people are sitting at home screaming, "WHY HASN'T VALERIE BLOGGED?!!!"  But they are not.  (or are they?!)  So since I last blogged, here are some things that happened in no particular order.

- I flew to California by myself and it was much less fun without Mike.  Snarking to yourself is boring.  And there are so many snark worthy things at the airport...

- I watched one of my best friends be happier than I've possibly ever seen her.  Glowing.  It was awesome.

- I was actually quiet to the point where someone asked me if I was okay.  That is super weird for me.  (I'm loud.)

- I got fat.  Don't roll your eyes at me.  I'm not merely being obnoxious.  I felt awesome on my trip.  I walked around amongst skinny minnies in my bathing suit and felt pretty dern good.  Then I got home.  And my week with Mike's brother's visit and eating out, my week with Mike's mom's visit and eating out and my week in California eating and drinking out HIT ME.  Like, I have never experienced this before.  I looked in the mirror and though, "Oh shit."  I am obviously heavier.  That happened quick.  And it ain't going to go away quick.  This sucks.  So I've been super whiny about that (lucky Mike) and working out more and eating better, but it sucks and I look awful and feel uncomfortable and am depressed.  (funnest blog ever right?)

- I shared a bed with my sister and still slept okay and didn't kick her once.  The time difference helped.

- I drove to TWO new places and didn't freak out or get lost.  SHADAISY.  (I'm pathetic)

- I got surprised in the shower by one of my best friends V which wasn't a big deal because, well, chicks are weird like that, and then our friend TOOK PICTURES OF IT and V texted that picture to her husband.  And then I died of embarrassment.  Camera phones are the worst invention ever.  (We were just showering btw...does this make it sound like we were making out?  We weren't.)  (Or were we?!)  (We weren't.)

- I drank a cocktail at 7:30am and didn't feel bad about it.  And it was a double.  It was delicious.  (It was at the airport if that makes it less gross)

- I ate at my two favorite restaurants in my old home town and got to see a bunch of my favorite people.  

- I still was totally fine leaving and coming back here felt like coming home.  That is sad and happy at the same time.

- I went to my house back home that we're now renting out and it was less weird than I thought, but still pretty weird.  I miss that house.

- I, along with my sister, recorded a video of us dancing to Sweet Home Alabama for her boyfriend.  Dorks.

- I GOT BANGS.  This is a big deal for girls...it's kind of ridiculous, but it is.

- I felt very thankful for my relationship all week.  And even when he snapped at me earlier tonight...didn't go away.

- I learned that you should always check that you have your bag before you leave for a long trip and any husband who would drive hours to drop off your bag is a keeper.

- I found out that Palm Springs has basically become Vegas which isn't a bad thing, it's just surprising.

- I also found out that is is apparently a thing to hang out in pools that are only like waist deep and just stand around and get hit on like you're at a club?  This is not my jam.  Nope nope nope.  Lets combine clothing that makes 95% of women uncomfortable with alcohol, with a drowning hazard, with sketchy guys, with awkwardly having to climb in and out of something in front of everyone.  Not.  My.  Jam.

- I had an amazing trip whether it made me fat or not.  But I'm so happy to be home. 

And lots of other stuff and things I shouldn't mention on here and all that fun stuff.

What have you guys been up to?

The ladies.  Ohhhh aren't they hotties?!

I spent 7 hours out here and didn't get sunburnt.  WINNER.

We were too lazy to take anything other than selfies all weekend.  My sister is more photogenic than me.  Bitch.

Selfie Attack

This is my reaction to coming home and realizing I am now fat.  Mike has since banned me from alcohol.  Hmph.