Thursday, July 25, 2013

Things and Stuff and Things

Oh hey!  I didn't die.  I went to California for a week and then came home and went straight back to work and I've had nothing to blog out.  I like to pretend people are sitting at home screaming, "WHY HASN'T VALERIE BLOGGED?!!!"  But they are not.  (or are they?!)  So since I last blogged, here are some things that happened in no particular order.

- I flew to California by myself and it was much less fun without Mike.  Snarking to yourself is boring.  And there are so many snark worthy things at the airport...
- I watched one of my best friends be happier than I've possibly ever seen her.  Glowing.  It was awesome.
- I was actually quiet to the point where someone asked me if I was okay.  That is super weird for me.  (I'm loud.)
- I got fat.  Don't roll your eyes at me.  I'm not merely being obnoxious.  I felt awesome on my trip.  I walked around amongst skinny minnies in my bathing suit and felt pretty dern good.  Then I got home.  And my week with Mike's brother's visit and eating out, my week with Mike's mom's visit and eating out and my week in California eating and drinking out HIT ME.  Like, I have never experienced this before.  I looked in the mirror and though, "Oh shit."  I am obviously heavier.  That happened quick.  And it ain't going to go away quick.  This sucks.  So I've been super whiny about that (lucky Mike) and working out more and eating better, but it sucks and I look awful and feel uncomfortable and am depressed.  (funnest blog ever right?)
- I shared a bed with my sister and still slept okay and didn't kick her once.  The time difference helped.
- I drove to TWO new places and didn't freak out or get lost.  SHADAISY.  (I'm pathetic)
- I got surprised in the shower by one of my best friends V which wasn't a big deal because, well, chicks are weird like that, and then our friend TOOK PICTURES OF IT and V texted that picture to her husband.  And then I died of embarrassment.  Camera phones are the worst invention ever.  (We were just showering btw...does this make it sound like we were making out?  We weren't.)  (Or were we?!)  (We weren't.)
- I drank a cocktail at 7:30am and didn't feel bad about it.  And it was a double.  It was delicious.  (It was at the airport if that makes it less gross)
- I ate at my two favorite restaurants in my old home town and got to see a bunch of my favorite people.  
- I still was totally fine leaving and coming back here felt like coming home.  That is sad and happy at the same time.
- I went to my house back home that we're now renting out and it was less weird than I thought, but still pretty weird.  I miss that house.
- I, along with my sister, recorded a video of us dancing to Sweet Home Alabama for her boyfriend.  Dorks.
- I GOT BANGS.  This is a big deal for's kind of ridiculous, but it is.
- I felt very thankful for my relationship all week.  And even when he snapped at me earlier tonight...didn't go away.
- I learned that you should always check that you have your bag before you leave for a long trip and any husband who would drive hours to drop off your bag is a keeper.
- I found out that Palm Springs has basically become Vegas which isn't a bad thing, it's just surprising.
- I also found out that is is apparently a thing to hang out in pools that are only like waist deep and just stand around and get hit on like you're at a club?  This is not my jam.  Nope nope nope.  Lets combine clothing that makes 95% of women uncomfortable with alcohol, with a drowning hazard, with sketchy guys, with awkwardly having to climb in and out of something in front of everyone.  Not.  My.  Jam.
- I had an amazing trip whether it made me fat or not.  But I'm so happy to be home. 

And lots of other stuff and things I shouldn't mention on here and all that fun stuff.
What have you guys been up to?

The ladies.  Ohhhh aren't they hotties?!

I spent 7 hours out here and didn't get sunburnt.  WINNER.

We were too lazy to take anything other than selfies all weekend.  My sister is more photogenic than me.  Bitch.

Selfie Attack

This is my reaction to coming home and realizing I am now fat.  Mike has since banned me from alcohol.  Hmph.