Here are 5 things I am bad at:
1) Parallel parking. Actually, I've never tried it, but I'm sure I'd be horrible at it. Driving has never been my thing, nor backing up, nor parking. In Jersey, we had to parallel park a lot so I just had my girlfriends park for me. They got to drive my car as long as they drove me around. Last week, my dad visited for the day and I made him drive my car around. I'm either horrible or awesome...
This is my car, I never drive it.
2) Anything that involves hand strength. I almost failed out of flight attendant training because I couldn't squeeze the stupid hand thing hard enough. The bulimic chick who weighed under 100 pounds even kicked my ass at the hand squeezy thingie. I have these tiny, bony, weak ass hands. I blame them for me not upping my weight on upper body strength training; makes sense right?
She can point, but she can't squeeze.
3) Generally walking around and being alive. I fall down a lot. I bang my head on things constantly. The amount of times I have hit myself in my own face with a car door is astounding. I turn the corner in my own house and ram my shoulder into it almost every day. Now you guys get why I never became a ballerina. (Also, the fact that I'm short, chubby, and have no talent)
4) Painting my nails. Oh how I want to always have a perfect manicure. I'm just so bad at it and I immediately start to chip off the nail polish when I'm done. There is just something so satisfying about chipping off nail polish bit by bit. My husband hates it because he finds red flakes all over the place, so I just don't paint my nails anymore.
Adorable...never gonna happen.
5) Doing my hair and makeup. How do you people keep your hair and makeup looking cute all day? I feel cute for about 10 minutes in the morning and then look in the mirror and my hair has become a giant puff ball and my makeup is nowhere to be seen. Maybe I should just combine 4 and 5 and title it: Being a Proper Woman.
Notice the giant tuff of hair sticking out in the back. I didn't know about that until I looked at these pictures the next day.
So there you have it. Back off boys, she's taken!