Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Good Idea/Bad Idea

The other day I got the grand idea to clean out my e-mail account. I made the mistake of clicking on "All Mail" and realizing I had over 10,000 e-mails in there.  That's just insane and unnecessary. And since I'm unemployed and have nothing better to do really, I started going through them and cleaning them out.

This was both a good and bad idea.

Good because I found some great old photos and conversations.

Like these gems:

L&B in 2007, so long ago!

Me and my husband on our first trip to Disneyland. He looks like a damn baby.

Demon Corgi

Yoda Ears

Quality pug smoosh

This one needs no caption

And a hilarious e-mail thread between my sister and I when a former employer had Scientology experts come teach us their management program (that is not even a little bit of a joke) that we code named Mission Xenu and where I sent her things like this:

Am starting to think that the mission is in fact a big ole bag of bullshit 
Quotes such as, "Nothing is remembered unless it is written down." have led me to this conclusion.
    Also defining exhilaration as "being grateful."
    Have a very strong urge to poke out my own eyes.

That's just good stuff right there.

It was also a bad idea. 

Because it was like getting smacked in the face with eight years of the most whiny, bitchy, cranky, and dramatic side of yourself. I saw fights I forgot I even ever had, horribly dramatic e-mails sent to boys I used to like that didn't deserve it (sorry Fancy Pants!), begging my parents for money year after year, and complaints about everything under the sun.

It's actually had me in a giant funk for days. I can't help feeling that I'm just not a great person. That I'm a whiner, complainer, loser, bad friend.

So I'm dealing with that and I'm sure I'll get over it, but damn, don't read your old e-mails. It's not always pretty.

I have determined to stop sending out e-mails that use the word hate. I think that would have been the most common word in all those eight years of e-mails. I hate this, hate that, hate everything. Yuck. I'm going to stick a big ole' sticky note on my computer screen with a reminder to stop using the word hate.

I will say, since this all happened, I've talked to my mom on Skype and she has said some lovely gushy things about me as a person and how much she loves me and yesterday I had drinks with my dad and he did the same. So that helps and mayyyybe I should give myself a break. But I will take this as a learning experience and hopefully not be such a turd in the future.  Hopefully.

Because there's a meme for everything...


  1. Definitely give yourself a break! Just because you sent some emails you regret doesn't mean you were always whiny or anything else you've called yourself 24/7. Email is where we all go to vent most of the time, just keep that in mind! And, learn for the future ;)

  2. Don't be too hard on yourself! We should always be able to look back on the person we were eight years ago and see how much we have grown since then!

  3. Also, side note, B and I were still getting pictures taken on a REAL camera at that point. So yea. That shit (all of it) is DATED :)

    1. Hehe I love this picture! Be thankful I didn't use the ones John took of you guys way too close up that gave you fat face. :))))))